Stella Baxter

My mind is constantly overtaken by memories and regrets. I am blasted into the past and overwhelmed with emotions and physical changes, like a racing heart out of the “blue.” Someday I will be better, right? Read more

Sunday 10:13PM 05OCT2025 I had a flashback this weekend when I took a chug of a gatorade. I was actually driving a golf cart while it happened. Suddenly, I was in Iraq drinking my first beverage other than water in the desert sun.  It’s like I am time traveling when it happens. Read more

Journaling is more than a habit—it’s a way to process life and leave behind a piece of ourselves. When I write, I imagine someone reading it someday, discovering my story. This perspective gives my words weight, making them feel purposeful. At my lowest, my journals were filled with dark, raw emotions. I eventually burned those… Read more

Embracing Change with Compassion I used to love my jawline, but with medication causing weight gain and aging taking its toll, I’ve developed a softer jaw that makes me self-conscious. I sometimes romanticize my younger self, thinking I was more beautiful back then, but the truth is, I lacked the confidence I have now. While… Read more

I’ve always had incredible support in my life, especially from my mom, who’s been my number one source of love and encouragement. An incredible artist who creates everywhere she goes. My sister and cousin are both amazing artists that inspire me to create. I still have a painting that my niece made, so many artists… Read more

Art has always been part of me, but struggles with my mental health caused me to lose touch with my creativity. Now, as I pursue my goal of becoming an art teacher, I’m learning to embrace the process of rebuilding my skills. Art journaling has been my way back. It’s not about perfection—it’s about expressing… Read more

House and van shopping has reminded me of an important lesson: don’t settle. It’s easy to find options that could work, but sometimes they come with more time, energy, and stress than they’re worth. I’ve found places and vehicles that seem like a good deal, but I’ve learned that it’s better to wait for the… Read more

The hardest lesson I’ve learned is this: don’t stop moving. Even when it feels impossible, even when it feels like you’re drowning in darkness. Movement is a lifeline. I was a college athlete. I ran with my dog everyday, until she died and everything changed. The grief consumed me. I stopped running. I stopped caring… Read more

There was a time when I was fit. But then, gradually, my body changed. My belly grew, and instead of facing it, I hid. I bought a whole new wardrobe, telling myself it didn’t matter. Then my face started to change. My cheeks filled out, new wrinkles around my eyes. In an instant, I went… Read more

A blank canvas is as hostile as it is appealing. It stares back at me daring me to ruin it with my rusty art skills.  The fear of failure gnaws at my confidence. Is it better to let my creativity rot because I am scared I will be bad? Art is chaos, rebellion, and persistence.… Read more

I thought Mexico would be a chance to escape my demons, but they were packed neatly in my rucksack. The flashbacks hit hard—strangers became threats, and my brain was a battlefield I couldn’t escape. She, however, was pure magic. A fabulous artist with a wild soul, she moved through life like it was a canvas… Read more

Today I almost bought another van. It looked perfect: sleek, spacious and road-trip ready. The dealer casually mentions that he has to go unplug it. What? My dad and I drove almost 3 hours to check it out, I didn’t know electric Ford Transits were a thing. Fussing with charging just is not something I… Read more

As I reflect on the path that led me here, I recognize the profound impact of my experiences. From the depths of struggle to the heights of achievement, each chapter has shaped who I am today. The lessons learned, the relationships forged, and the resilience built have been invaluable. While the journey continues, I now… Read more

In my late thirties, I used a VA loan to purchase a six-bedroom farmhouse house on two acres with a creek running through the back garden. I still have my ups and downs, but now I have a home of my own. My parents retired and moved in with me, to help me renovate and… Read more

Growing up in a large, close-knit family, I was surrounded by unwavering support and love. My parents were and are my rocks, always there to make me laugh and comfort me. My siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles & gram form a network of care that shapes my resilience. Having the same best friends since early childhood… Read more

So, there I was, popping pills like a candy addict at a parade, when the doc drops the bomb: “How about a shot in the hip every month?” I blinked. “You mean, like, a vaccine?” He chuckled. “No, a big ol’ needle of antipsychotic goodness.” Fast forward to the first injection. The nurse wields the… Read more

I got Tate, a highly trained German Shepherd, to help with my social anxiety as a service dog. He was perfect—smart, protective, and so in tune with me. Tate guided me through panic-inducing situations, nudging me when I needed space, making the world feel a little less overwhelming. But then, Tate got too protective. He’d… Read more

During my first stint in rehab, I encountered a neuropsychologist who had a peculiar habit. Every time I mentioned my brothers, he’d cut me off, interjecting with a curt “half!” It took me a moment to realize he was fixated on the fact that my brothers were technically half-siblings. His interruptions were jarring, disrupting the… Read more

Flashback to my 30th birthday. I was supposed to be in Punta Cana sipping margaritas, living my best life, celebrating my flawless transition into adulthood. Instead, I was having a mental breakdown in a hotel bathroom, convinced ISIS was outside my suite. I was in my hotel when I first heard it. Two men talking… Read more

I’m not sure if it was the socks, or the fact that I was in a room full of people who were either too sedated to speak or too lost in their own heads to notice me, but I felt a little… out of place. I adjusted to the strange rhythm of the ward. I… Read more